I'm Tired

It's been 5 days since the unforgettable typhoon. We finally went home yesterday. Nakakahiya na kasi kila mama. They were flooded too, kaya sobrang dami nilang pinapatuyong gamit and feeling ko nakakasikip na kami ni Jeff with our 2 dogs.

It was my day off yesterday and as soon as dumating yung electrician na kilala ni mama we went straight to pick up Jeff's dad na asa cousin ni Jeff sa Balubaran. On the road to Marilao bridge tanaw na agad yung mga families na gumana nalang tents sa street, nakaka awa silang tingnan lahat. Halos wala na silang natirang gamit kasi sila yung most affected because they live on the river side.

When we arrived, nagmerienda ng konti and went straight to washing our clothes na nabasa sa flood. Good thing naglinis na si Jeff and Papa the day before, I just had to start washing manually kasi wala paring kuryente.

Unfortunately, we cannot use the main wiring for a good one month, nalunod sa water ang mga sockets, kailangan daw patuyuin otherwise pwedeng magkasunog, di pa naman sa amin yung house, good luck naman. The electrician had to install a temporary source of power, 2 ilaw lang ang nakabitan at isang main socket, good enough for TV, electric fan and computer. We can't turn on our ref, nabasa rin kasi ang motor and yung transformer nya. Our washing machine is soaking wet pa when he checked, kailangan parin patuyuin, ganun din yung transformer nya.

Wala narin pala kaming TV, both TVs were wet inside, para kahit papano makapanuod kami ng news I borrowed my mom's small TV. We haven't checked our microwave oven, andun kasi sya sa dining table when we left last Saturday, alam ko inabot din sya. Good thing we have 1 computer set working, yung isa, basang basa yung AVR, mouse and keyboard, it'll take days siguro para marevive sila, kung marerevive nga.

We were left with 1 electric fan, sana di sya bumigay, thinking na 24 hours na syang ginagamit since yesterday.

After the electrician installed the temporary wirings kinailangan namin sya ihatid dito kila mama, which took us a good 1 hour sa sobrang traffic. We took our clothes na natitira, hiniram ang TV and iniuwi yung PC na dinala dito. We went straight to Puregold para mag grocery, I knew kasi lahat ng pinamili last week eh lumutang na sa tubig.

We bought almost everything we need including na yung hapunan namin for that night, pero ayaw na mag start ni MJ nung pauwi na kami. I cried, I really did.

Again, I questioned God kung bakit. I found no answers. Buti nalang at malapit lang dun yung kilala naming mekaniko, he somehow recharged the battery para lang makauwi kami, pero along the way, unti unti nawawala yung headlight, nawala na yung tail light and wala narin kahit busina, even signal lights. Nakauwi naman kami ng maayos pero inabot na kami ng 11:30PM bago nakapag hapunan.

Pag uwi, were a little worried na wala man lang kami mahigaan, buti nalang at di nabasa yung air bed namin, yun ang pinagtyagaan kong bombahan ng hangin para lang makatulog na kami sa salas. Papa sleft on a folding bed after they drank. I know they needed a drink or two.

Nagising ako kasi maliwanag na, in fact, maaraw na at 7:30AM. Naligo at nag umpisa nanaman akong maglaba, maga na ang daliri ko kakalaba, sugat na nga sya. Natapos ko ang ilang kumot at ilang damit, ng mapagod. Humiga at naghintay ng oras sa malamig na sahig kasi natanggal na ang air bed.

Pagkatapos kong mananghalian ng sardinas umalis ako agad kasi wala paring internet sa bahay at kailangan ko na mag online ng 2PM for my shift. Papalabas na ng village ang tricycle ng biglang umulan, naalala ko si Pepeng na pala ang susunod. Kinilabutan na ako, akala ko kasi delubyo part2 na.

Nakarating naman ako dito kila mama in 1 piece, hindi nga umulan dito eh, pero sa amin, pa ambon ambon na. I'm scared again, maghahanda na kami this time. Kailangan bukas ng umaga maiready na ang lahat at dito kami kila mama once dumating ang bagyo, mas madali siguro lumikas pag maraming kasama.

Pero now, I'm feeling tired than I ever did in my entire life. I'm emotionally drained, this whole event tested me financially, emotionally, mentally and even yung trust ko kay God.

I know I'm even luckier than other people, pero I can't help but think, ano nga ba ang message na ito for me or for us. Is it really climate change? God's test? Or both?

Di ko alam kung hangang saan ko pa kakayanin, I need to pay our utility bills, meralco and water bills are now waiting for us, pero our money is pretty limited for our food and other expenses.

Nahihirapan na ako and I don't know kung saan pa ako kakapit. God help us, para na akong nauupos na kandila.