One Fateful Saturday

Sometimes I wonder if it's a mistake caring for animals, is it something that I should be proud of, or is it just a curse?

I've always wanted a pet as a young kid. I would always tell mom to either buy me little birdies, puppies, cats, even chicks. I'm always fascinated by the fact that I can take care of them and grow them to be my pet, my only pet. Till I reached my high school years, I would always bring stray cats home and feed them, since then our neighbors would bring kitties to us thinking that we would adopt them too.

Upon reaching college, I brought at the least, 4 pups and only 2 survived. The last pet I brought to our home is a lhasa apso breed who really brought happiness to our home. When I moved out I started caring for bunnies, they are oh so cute, apparently, I wasn't ready for such responsibility. I had three, Yael died upon reaching his first month, Lola died and I wasn't there for her when she passed away. I blamed myself for their deaths, I wasn't always there for them, that's the problem. Jeff gave me another bunny, Ebe, because I wasn't ready for another one, Ebe became so sickly and malnourished, I decided to give him to a friend with his cage and all.

By the time he got me Ebe he also brought home Aia, my pet dog. Aia is such a baby, she would always bring the worse in me. One time when I was washing clothes, I left Aia in our sala so I could go out and finish washing our clothes, when I came back everything was in a mess. To my surprise, I nearly broke her leg out of anger. I would often blame my work because I can't find the time to feed her on time or even walk her in the morning. Aia became a headache, Jeff and I would always fight about her because she wasn't trained to poop and would really bite everything. I stood up for her because she's my baby, my only baby left. When we moved out of the house and transferred to a smaller house, I had the chance to train her. She's doing a lot better in pooping because I was there to train her, I already resigned that time.

We then moved to a new place, a better one, here in Bulacan. Now, Aia can move freely without being scolded. She can poop and pee anytime she wants to, I even got her a brother, Kiko, we just got him over a week ago.


Until that fateful Saturday, just three days ago. This stupid idea came to me that I should train Aia to go out without a leash. I let her walk out of the gate while I was carrying a big bag of trash, Jeff was just watching us. I tried calling her name so she could go back, to no avail. Aia just walked and walked without noticing me. It's as if she didn't know me at all. So, out of concern that she might get lost, I tried grabbing her collar, to my surprise she bit my hand. When I realized this, I pulled my hand from her mouth which made the wound even worse, it's at the least two inches long. As Jeff told me yesterday, I was so surprise that I couldn't say anything, I just stood there and watch Jeff hit Aia with something. I nearly cried, not because the wound was painful, but because I take care of Aia as I would've for a child, my child, and she bit me.

Jeff rushed me to an Animal Bite Center here in Marilao, I had to get shots again, for anti rabis and anti tetanus. We spent almost a thousand for the shots and I will have 4 more shots in the next couple of weeks. Aia is on her leash since Saturday and we have to observe if she'll die or something. Now, I don't know what to do with her. I still feed her, give her attention but instincts tell me that I shouldn't touch her, she might bite me again.

Caring for animals bring me joy but up to what extent should I care for them? I'm just lost right now.